Not a Girl, Not a Woman
by nino-kun
Summary: Haibara, stuck in a 7 year old body, does not escape the ongoing temptation of comfort a woman in her twenties dream of. Here's a story on how she survive the daily temptation that doesn't fit her size.
1. Chapter 1 : Beautiful Dress

**[Author's note]**

 **A friend told me that my tenses are mixed up. I'm trying to fix that, but apparently it seems to be my worst part of the language. I hope it won't bother readers. In any case, I'm extremely grateful if you could point out my mistakes so that I could fix them.**

 **Thank you, and enjoy the story.**

* * *

 **Chapter 1 : Beautiful Dress**

The bride giggled as dazzling as could be when she said the final 'I do', letting her man know that he has got the best he had ever wished. Gentle pastel coloured their reception hall, bouquets that queues from the front door glamouring the couples' union. The bride wore a flamboyant fluffy white dress with yellow lining while the groom wore some probably expensive same looking tuxedo men usually wear.

 _I wound have it A-cut. Definitely. White, straight, following my curves would be some sweet pink, no, maybe red, or green lining. Just straight up elegant. None of these pastel fluorescent fantasy colours._

"What are you watching?" asked Agasa, suddenly emerging from his lab after the many hours of dedication on his cute little research hobbies.

"Nothing. Lady stuffs," I replied looking over the couch to confirm his presence.

"It's still too early for you to think of marriage, Haibara," commented Agasa after peaking at the television.

"Though I'm sure you'll be a pretty bride when the time comes. And I'll be very sad," he added, sulking at his own thoughts.

 _Hn._

Naturally, that was replied with a smirk. The remark made me happy though. I guess I'm just not the sweet kind of girl full of rainbows and smiles.

"Don't be ridiculous," I said, switching the television off, "Dinner's on the table. I'm going to take a shower first. You can eat without me".

"It's fine. We'll eat together. I'll sort out some of those piled up letters while waiting," the old professor said as he retreated back to his office.

We were hyping over Higo and his team leading in the season's league when Agasa suddenly brought up earlier conversation.

"You know I'd be totally supportive of whoever you might want for a partner in life later on, right?" he asked.

I sigh. _What brought this topic on? Is he giving me a lecture because I'm a Higo fan?_

"You see, you have a childhood to enjoy before that sort of stuff. So… what I meant is… I mean… do you have thoughts on getting married?" came the next bomb of question.

"Woah there mister. I was watching a show that was coincidentally covering about marriage to-day. I have no such plans. I'm a kid, remember? Still figuring multiplication tables in maths," I replied.

 _Damn. Should have stopped at 'no plans'._

"Yeah. Well. Yes. I know it's complicated about you. Since you're not really a kid. And since – I mean – since you're, don't take this wrong Haibara, but you're a girl, so probably you think of these stuff –" struggled Agasa trying his best to word his concern.

"Professor, don't worry. I like being a kid. It's a fresh start. But you're right on that – I'm not really a kid. So you don't have to be concerned about me having some teenage rage or anxiety, or some climatic desire for affection. Also, I'm was a mad scientist, remember? My research was the only thing on my mind," I assured him.

 _Was. For a woman in her 20s, the pressure have not yet gotten to me but I sure do have the wants. Mostly for the dress._

Agasa accepted my reasoning and changed the subject to one of his inventions. Seems that he was still stuck on the mechanism of one of his latest design. It can't seem to be molded the way he sketches them. So we resumed our dinner with the topics of precision in the chemicals combination for good molding technique.

As I went to bed that night, I dreamt of Higo scoring the winning goal and cheekily came to me with a sunflower bouquet. He drove an antique Benz and after some recaps of his game, he stopped at my house, commented on how he'd like to see his sporty girl wear a nice dress and then handed a wrapped gift. When he left, I ran inside, ignoring the questioning look in my odd parents, and the knowing giggle of my sister as I past her by the stairs, into my room and unwrapped Higo's gift. It was a beautiful lime-coloured dress, with reflecting edges. It's a perfect strolling under the sunshine sort of dress but the dull reflection gives the moonlight effect of the night. I wore it greedily, enjoying the fabric brushing against my skin. Grinning from ear to ear, I went by the mirror to admire the perfection. A generous dimension of the dress draped itself on the floor because I was too short. I was too little, the supposed to be curves now just flapped its bagginess. I was too much of a kid to wear such fine clothing.

Then I woke up.

 _Dress. Higo. Higo, huh. Is he becoming an obsession? Oh well, it's not like I'm the only girl with a crush on a football player. It's normal._

I went back to my restless sleep, hoping that the kids in school would have something interesting going on the next day. At least they would be able to come out with the most ridiculous ideas to be turned into adventures. That should be fun.


	2. Chapter 2 : Of Agent and Police

**[Author's Note]**

 **I like how the mangaka develop Haibara's character. Part of me wanted to ship him and Kudou too. I know some fans would love that. I did thought of adding some romance here but decided against it for now. I think Haibara deserves someone. I just couldn't think of a suitable match just yet. Despite being intelligent, most other characters just doesn't have the same wavelength with her. At least, that's what I think now that I've also reach my twenties. Akai seems fitting but we know by now, their relationship is a web of distrust.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy my project on going inside Haibara's thoughts.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2 : Of Agent and Police**

Okino Yoko has been gaining more fans each day. I used to think that she was just some irrelevant idol, venturing in too much pathway in showbiz. I guess I was just too much of a snob to realize that my skills were the one that is irrelevant in the world of showbiz. I knew nothing of the workings of how these people find a job, let alone keep one. In a way, I guess I'd consider to be given another chance to not screw up if I could land Haibara Ai her first job later in the future.

 _Perhaps I should consider being a nurse. Professor could waste his fortune on hiring me to care for him. It's a win-win._

" _Oi_ , what are you brooding over Okino Yoko's poster about?" interrupted Kudou, known by most people as Conan.

"A career in the future," I said with a shrug that dismiss Kudou's interruption.

"As expected of Haibara, so mature!" praised Ayumi, grinning at my side.

She came to me more frequently now. I used to think that it's the girl marking territory sort of behavior whenever she approaches me since I'm always with Kudou. In the end, I gave up that suspicion. Maybe in 10 years she'll be that sort of girl, but right now, this kid is simply enjoying another girl's company in this friendship circle.

 _Surround yourself with kids every day, and you'll learn to be positive about everything._

"I hoped to work with the government," said Mitsuhiko confidently. Turning nervously to face me, the child fidgets as he ask, "What do you aim to be?"

"Nurse," I replied.

Somehow the conversation steered towards many other stuff by which it ends when Genta claimed to be hungry. We messaged the professor and waited in a fast food retail for him to arrive to treat us for lunch.

I munch on the burger with bore. I guess fancy restaurant dinners would have to wait for another 10 to 15 years or more. So I've waited for 20 years, but then again I wasted my youth in laboratories thinking that it's the best place for my skills but that turned out all wrong. Another two digit years.

 _By which time, I'd probably get tired of people or being too much of an expert as a recluse._

" – on a larger scale than police! It's cool!" exclaimed Genta. As if to prove his point he settled to me, looking for a supportive statement.

"Sorry, didn't catch the conversation," I said, trying to ignore the inquiring look Kudou was giving.

"It's like this. Genta said an agent is a thousand times better than the police. Which do you think is better? Inspector Sato is a good policewoman though…" said Ayumi, trying to coax her opinion into mine.

"They have it easier though," added Mitsuhiko, acting his wits and intelligence as he put down his burger like a good child before speaking.

"Who?" asked Kudou and I simultaneously.

"Police. Agents sometimes have to act as a double. Their whole lives are surrounded with danger. Police only have to go to the crime scene and solve crimes. Or close the case if it gets too difficult, is what I hear" explained Mitsuhiko.

I can hear Kudou chuckles, finding the discussion silly.

"So I'm right, aren't I? Agents are way cooler than police," said Genta waving his right hand, ignorant of bad table manners to swing your food, not to mention the danger if someone walked by and stumble by his sudden outstretched hand. Agasa saw to this and subtly pull Genta's hand to avoid inconveniencing others.

"I don't think people who have to lie to others are cool though. Agents live a façade of a life, sometimes betraying their own friends and family. Imagine if Ayumi here is actually an agent, and for the sake of her mission she'd have to leave you to die, would you still like her to be an agent? Or just a simple helpful policewoman?" I theorized.

"I'd never leave my friends!" said Ayumi, certain of the friendship bond that should last forever. The ever wistful thinking of a child.

So the discussion ended at police winning the lead although Genta sulk since his first choice were rejected. By the end of the day, what with games and trivia quizzes the professor threw in the journey back, they had all forgotten about the debate and went home happily anticipating the day's dinner. When it was just the three of us – Kudou, Agasa and I – left, Kudou told me his suspicion in one of the police officer from Nagano prefecture to be Rum, the secret agent from the Black Gang.

I preferred to be left in the dark from Kudou's thirst of bringing the group down sometimes. As much as I regretted what had become of me, I'm also grateful that I could start over but I had to give Kudou some credit. As long as the group exist, and still hunting for me, even Haibara Ai won't be a very safe disguise.

"So anyway, agents' life are fake, huh? If I quote your very words, who do you think it sounds like?" ask Kudou.

Lucky for me, Agasa reached Mouri Agency as soon as Kudou finished his sentence. Kudou's question hanged about in the air, forcing both of us to inhale the restlessness of the unspoken answer. He must have been annoyed with my comment earlier but for Kudou, who found thrills in mystery and suspense, I wanted peace in life. One where I don't have to be on the run, or look over my shoulder to suspect if the person who's been staring at me was really analyzing the resemblance between Haibari Ai and Sherry.

I gave Kudou an annoyed face, push the door on his side open, and said, "Get off, smartass."

Kudou replied a knowing smile, gave his thanks to Agasa for the ride, climbed down the car seat and hurried upstairs to Mouri Agency. On the way back, Agasa didn't try for a conversation – perhaps out of consideration, or perhaps I was giving off a terrible vibe that put us both in uncomfortable silence.

After a convenient microwaved dinner, Agasa informed me of some visit a junior colleague of his will have the next day. There was something soothing about how Agasa talks about his work. Although sometimes it was meant to fill the silence, the conversation always turns for the better due to his passion towards his invention, or maybe part of me couldn't kill of my old scientist. It was after I found comfort in discussing chemical properties and mechanical technologies that Agasa revealed his real intention.

"You're not a fake, Haibara. Some lies are told to protect. Don't dwell on it," he said.

Maybe if he was my father, I would have been a straight up scientist, making great medicinal discoveries and went home discussing my achievements and awards happily over sushi and low-fat cakes.

I thanked the professor with a genuine smile and finished up my homework, with enough mistake left for a reasonably average 7 year old smart girl. I reminded the professor to be presentable when his junior came tomorrow and went off to brush my teeth.

It was when I looked at the mirror that I saw Shiho looking at me. Memories came flooding back. It was the cover that brought us to where we are.

 _Some lies are told to protect._

Even so, casualties are there. His betrayal cost me my sister.

 _What of mine?_


	3. Chapter 3 : Pencils and Pens

**[Author's Note]**

 **I was actually looking at birds when I thought of this chapter. Since Haibara's intelligent, I can't picture her being focus in the class.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3 : Pencils and Pens**

The little bird that sat on the branch was singing a summer melody. Such a happy tune. I'm not an expert of bird expression but I am willing to deduce that the little bird much be in some thrilling moment of its life. I've never tried birding before. My family – _my late family_ \- seemed to be under the impression that the hobby is a waste of time.

' _Why would anyone watch bird all day to admire the beauty of it when you can use the time to study and dedicate time to research that would better the world?'_ , is what I think my father would have said.

I wish I had the wisdom to tell my parents that nature should be enjoyed as it is. Staying in labs marveling at our own creation was a sick thing to do. Sure enough, it drove my family mad. My sister escaped our madness just for living in the moment, something my parents were ashamed of.

"Ai!" called the teacher.

"Yes!" I managed, realizing that I was off in my own world for a time.

"And what is it that is so interesting out there?" asked the teacher.

"Teacher, Haibara was just admiring the bird. It's beautiful, and this species will only be around this area for a while. It's in migrating season," explained Mitsuhiko, saving my skin.

"My, that's an interesting thing to share. This sort of opportunity is what commonly wouldn't be missed. Alright, how about making it our homework?" asked the teacher, grabbing her own kind of opportunity.

The class grumbled but agreed to it anyway.

At the cafeteria during recess, Mitsuhiko came beaming at me. He was delighted with writing an essay about that little bird and have been enjoying the short popularity from our classmates that barrage him with questions regarding the bird. It must be tough for him having two unfairly knowledgeable classmates to compete intellect on. Although Kudou was already smart when he was really a child, he had his brilliant inquiring father with a thirst for deduction who trained him to be sharp. Mitsuhiko in comparison, came from a normal household, with only his initiative as his compass. For a fair assessment, Mitsuhiko is the smartest kid in his class.

"I didn't know you were into birds, Haibara," said Ayumi, sitting herself next to me.

Kudou sat himself next to Ayumi while Mitsuhiko and Genta across us. Each of us brought our own lunch, though most of them will end up having some of mine.

"I wasn't," I said nonchalantly.

"Eh? Then you weren't taking the opportunity to watch the bird?" asked Mitsuhiko, bewildered from his wrong assumption.

"I'm sure she was just off in the clouds again, but the bird just happen to be there. Then Mitsuhiko got all worked up thinking that Haibara share his hobby," commented Kudou.

"Eh? I'm sorry… I thought – " Mitsuhiko stammered.

"No problem. I was looking at the bird, you know," I argued, "but I didn't know it was special. I was just looking. Thank you for covering for me Tsuburaya".

The boy blushed. He'll get over his boyhood crush when he goes to junior high school. I caught Kudou's smirk from the corner of my eye. Sometimes I wish he realize how his observation irritates others. The least he could do is refrain from deducing his friends' action. When Kudou noticed my glare, he snickered before redirecting his attention elsewhere.

As the last bell rang, the kids rounded up to my seat discussing the evening activity. Somehow, the notion of playing childish outdoor games didn't appeal to me. I had a feeling that Kudou will be bringing us into yet another trouble, considering how frequent we get to witness a crime or be involved in one when we're with him. His entity itself is like magnet to all the crime of the world, although it's probably that nature of his that gave me some hope in surviving.

Despite grateful for my life, I'd still rather not be part of their adventure for the day. I gave the detective boys some lame excuse which only Kudou noticed to be a lie, and escaped back to Agasa's house.

"I'm home," I said aloud when I walked into the house.

No one answered my greeting. Cautiously, I leaned against the wall and silently walked around, checking any signs of Agasa or trespassers. I heard the sound of metal dropping to the floor, and a burnt smell. Alarmed, I ready my phone - Kudou's number just a click away. As I was about to see who was the trespasser, a hand found itself on my shoulder. Against my better judgement, I froze, dropping the phone to the floor. I couldn't recall if I manage to click on the button or not.

"Hey," the stranger said, "You're not supposed to be home just yet".

Was this a kidnap plan? Agasa had been kidnapped before. Some people thought he was a millionaire due to his many invention, also to fact that he's living alone, enjoying the luxury for his own.

"Oh no, I didn't mean to fright you," he added as he pushed my shoulder with ease, forcing me to face him.

 _Wavy black hair, hazel eyes, tall and lean, maybe about 7 foot, square-faced, dimples on cheeks, uneven shave mark. Oh I'll remember you._

"I'm so not good with kids," the man said, releasing my shoulder from his grip.

I was about to run but left confused when he left me and went to the kitchen. He had accomplice, and they were confident that I have nowhere to run, is that the case? Just then I heard him call Agasa and the old professor came out of the kitchen, unharmed.

"I made a mistake, didn't I?" I asked, half embarrassed with myself.

"I did mention someone was coming over, didn't I? Why are you here so early anyway? You're not out with Shinichi and the others?" asked Agasa.

I shook. Agasa and Kudou were close neighbours once. Well, they still are, in documents. Ever since I created that disastrous poison, Kudou went undercover, living in Mouri Agency under an alias. Even so, sometimes I can't help but envy their closeness.

"Anyway, since you're here, can you do something about lunch? I… er… kind of burnt the one I was planning on making," said Agasa innocently.

I gave him the you-can't-do-anything-without-me look and went to the kitchen triumphantly. Agasa's junior was standing there smiling awkwardly trying to not look scary to a child. My paranoia have this effect on innocent adults. I feel bad for suspecting him for a crime.

"Haibara, this is Haris. Haris, my relative Haibara," said Agasa, breaking the ice between us with the introduction.

Haris and I shook our hands in awkward silence.

"Now that Haibara's here, we could relax about lunch. She'll take care of it," declared Agasa cheerily.

"Alone? But you're only 7 right?" asked Haris, shocked by the revelation.

"Piece of cake," I replied smugly.

It wasn't such a bad way to spend the afternoon. I was able to show off my cooking skills to a fellow scientist, who was in awe of the brilliant girl that handles the kitchen like a lady. It was a bit of cheating but so pride just had to blossom, even if the moment is not exactly right. I especially enjoy the praises the junior gave about my 'spectacular' pasta.

 _If only the kids would know the joy of gourmet food…_

Since Agasa's junior is an enthusiast like himself, it was easy to find a common topic. I ended spending the rest of the evening in Agasa's lab, participating in their chat while diligently stopping for question about my homework. I had to take some of Agasa's lecture sheets and work on the exercise secretly in between pages so that I'd take longer to complete the homework.

 _If only I don't need this drug…_

The thought came suddenly that I accidentally jerked my head, almost losing balance from the chair. The junior looked worried but I laughed it off. I told him I wanted to check if I'd fall when I do that. He looked at me curiously, then nodded and resumed his work.

 _It was once a peaceful, child-free evening. But then it was not anymore._


	4. Chapter 4 : Trust and Curry

**[Author's Note]**

 **Thank you** MM007 **and** Lilith Jae **for pointing out the mistake regarding Mitsuhiko's name. I don't know why the other name stuck before. Thank you.**

 **Yes, I like Akai, but I wanted to try Subaru since he's the unknown in Haibara's view. Please enjoy.**

* * *

 **Chapter 4 : Trust and Curry**

I knew why he came today and although I didn't approve of it, I didn't comment on it. I went to the bathroom to wash my face, and had the getting-ritual flashback when I saw my reflection in the mirror.

I still remember the first time I met him.

Usually when I'm out with the Detective Boys, I don't have much fear. Kids seldom come in contact with those sort of people. Maybe that's just the wistful thinking that comes during my laid back moments. The feeling came sudden, that menacing aura that still gave me nightmares even in my best dreams. He was right in front of me.

Despite swearing not to involve the kids, my first reaction then was to hide myself behind Kudou. Sometimes I hate how I depended on that teenager. If I was more responsible, my first response should have been taking the other kids to safety. Even now, I couldn't figure out how that dangerous sense disappeared just when I was about to flee.

I let my guard down but I was still cautious of them. At that time I wasn't sure from whom is it that I sense that danger. I've always wondered when the day will come when that organization realizes that that poison shrink instead of kill. When it comes, they will found me.

Back then, it was when the inspector asked of everyone's favourite colour that my guard was back up. I remember his words even now : _If I had to choose, I'd say black because it's a colour that covers things inside me that I don't want to know_. You did add that you hated the colour for the same reason.

Maybe I was being paranoid when it comes to anything black. I didn't immediately conclude that he was the one from the organization, since anyone could have that reason for liking that colour. However, his words made me desperate to trace the sense of danger that I had detected. When I think of it now, it was reckless of me to use Mitsuhiko. The poor boy might have been thinking of so many possible reason why I suddenly forced him to face me, and sadly I'm sure all his assumption were wrong.

Also, I was irritated when Kudou defended him just for being a Holmes fan. I still think it's ridiculous to assume that all Holmes fan are good. Plus, he could have fake his likeness towards Holmes. It's not hard to memorize a well-known novel.

In my fight against the organization, sometimes I found that only Agasa seems supportive of me. Perhaps it's because he rather live a peaceful life rather than chase after the excitement of the unknown. _Nah_ , I'm sure that's just me hoping. Scientist like us strive to discover what have yet to be discovered.

My life event made me hate that curiosity but I cannot assume that some people think the same way just because I wish it. I wouldn't go about claiming Kudou not supportive but he's too much of a mystery geek that he dragged me further into the case instead of outside of it. I wonder if it's the blind courage of those who have lived a good life. I wish I wasn't like this. Fearful and cautious all the time.

I was incredibly wary of you living next to Agasa. Sometimes I do think of leaving Agasa, and flee on my own. Our guise of being relatives now felt real to me that I fear him being used as hostage against me. Yet that man came all knowledgeable and friendly, earning the trust of the unsuspecting old professor. How he managed to get even the kids to like him is something I cannot fathom.

" _Oi_ , aren't you coming out now?" called the ever-interrupting Kudou, pulling me back to reality.

I went out of the bathroom, irritated at being bothered in my long-bathroom-thinking-moment.

"Haibara, we helped this time," said Ayumi happily as she placed the plates on the table.

I helped myself to the table, facing that man's back.

"It's curry today, princess," he said as he turned around and scooped a portion onto my rice-filled plate.

"Mister Subaru, you're the best!" cried Genta, happily gobbling the food down.

As much as I hate to admit it, I would hate it if this gourmet chef person is an actual danger.

 _Delicious_.

* * *

 **[Author's Note]**

 **I seem to recall Subaru making curry before. Plus, I like curry. Staying in the hospital made me hungry. #random**

 **Do tell me your thoughts. Thank you.**


	5. Chapter 5 : Tale of Tomato Princess

**[Author's Note]**

 **I like the power of nicknames. Especially when only certain people call certain someone in a special way. I feel that it gives a different sense of bonding intimacy.**

* * *

 **Chapter 5 : Tale of Tomato Princess**

"Let's go shopping," declared Agasa one fine morning.

I was just finished with the dishes, looking forward to read newspaper at the porch and to bask myself under the morning sun. Whenever Agasa suggest something that doesn't involve the other kids, almost always, he does so in spur moments. He seldom ask if I have any plans which irks me sometimes. This time, I can't seem to be irritated enough.

"That's a nice smile. I know you love to shop. Let's go, let's go!" he said.

The professor then went for a change of clothes while humming some odd tune to himself.

 _So I'm the whining 15 year old daughter now, eh? That isn't so bad._

Cheated and crossed, I was silent on the way to the department store. Agasa easy invitation apparently stretched itself to our almost-always-having-free-time neighbour. Subaru wanted to stock his replenishing groceries, while Agasa wanted to get more hardware for his experimental new machine. I, on the other hand was the can't-be-left-alone-at-home 7 year old. Even so, Subaru eat with us most of the time, I can't imagine why he need to stock his groceries.

We first went for groceries. Agasa longingly named the food he wishes to eat to me, hoping I would consider making them. I made a point to cross out everything that are high in calories and purposely reject all of Agasa's favourites. It wasn't hard because most of his favourites are the sweet stuff he should not consume much, considering his age.

"That's a lot of tomato," said Subaru, observing the amount of tomato I placed inside our trolley. At this point, the dejected Agasa already left the two of us to do grocery on our own. He went instead looking for his stuff at the hardware store on the 2nd floor.

"I hope you like pasta," I said, "or tomato juice."

"Why me?" the man asked.

"You bought too little. Plus, you practically come over for almost every meals," I replied, while debating to myself on whether I should buy tomato paste or not.

Subaru gave a long acknowledging interjection before adding, "but isn't it still too much?"

I gave Subaru a wry smile at his question. The quizzical expression on his face stayed there pitifully so I had to give up first.

"Well, the professor have a fondness for food with tomatoes. I don't deprive him of everything that he likes," I replied blithely.

"A lucky man," commented Subaru.

I wonder about that. I'd love to take credit on the professor's well-being but he was fine even before I was around. I was the lucky woman instead. I needed a place to hide, and Agasa provided it in a jiffy. His trusting nature worries me. Even Kudou took some time before deciding that I deserve his trust but Agasa trusted me from the get-go. If I had actually come with ill intention, he would probably realize it when it's too late. Good, that's why now he needs me.

 _Here's one more person he's too fast to trust._

The silhouette of the man carrying the grocery for three, walking steadily in front of me look anything besides suspicious. I couldn't sense from him, the dooming danger vibe that I could sense from the Black Organization. Nevertheless, I wouldn't allow myself to forget the occasional times that I could sense it coming from him. He might simply be really good at operating undercover that even danger masked itself around him.

 _BANG!_

The gunshot was loud. Subaru instinctively pull me closer, hiding me behind his back as we tried to trace the direction from where the gunshot came.

"Professor," I muttered in my panic.

" _Shh_ \- don't worry. The sound came from the floor above," assured Subaru.

We were already on the 2nd floor, on our way to meet up with the professor. The first gunshot caused panic on every floor. It was hard to find our ways towards the hardware store when we had to cross a crowd of distressed shoppers. Subaru held out his hand the whole time but although I trust him enough to stay close to him, I couldn't bring myself to trust him with my whole safety. For that reason, I remained close enough that his legs were always within reach, but I did not take his hand.

We reached the store only to learn the professor had left towards where we came from. Missing him was a big enough deal, but then the second gunshot was heard near the elevator of our current floor. Reaching to the same conclusion in possible unison, Subaru and I hurried towards the sound. True enough, Agasa was there, one-piece and unhurt. The only pickle would be that he was at gun point, taken hostage by the mad gunner.

Panic, worry and grief came all at once. Instinctively, I leaned closer to Subaru, grabbing his legs in an attempt to comfort myself in some unknown assurance. Subaru guided me silently away from the crowd, and escaped to the nearest exit. I however, paused by the door. I will not leave Agasa.

As if hearing my cries, Subaru said, "I won't let them have him. Don't worry, he'll be safe". For someone I refused to trust, hearing those words put me at ease. I don't know how an engineering student can help, but I wanted to believe him: that Agasa will be fine.

As it turns out, the shooter moved towards the same exit we waited at. With me hidden behind Subaru, the man acted like he gave the shooter a way out but when the shooter came close, Subaru effectively knocked his hand, causing the shooter to drop the gun. Subaru then elbowed the shooter's neck, staggering the man, allowing Agasa to free himself from the shooter. The unarmed shooter was then tackled by the department store's securities who were waiting for the right time. When Agasa saw me, he quickly pull me by the hand, away from the crowd, to avoid unnecessary contact with authorities. Subaru followed suit.

While Agasa thanked Subaru and discussed the motive for the shooting, I had to calm my nerves throughout the journey back. Agasa took his bits and pieces to his lab the moment we reach home. Subaru helped me carry the rest to the kitchen, also assisted with dinner preparation.

"You," I said suddenly after dinner, to the confused men at the dining table.

"- should join the next grocery shopping. And we should cook what you like occasionally," I added, unable to hide my gratitude. I pushed my empty place forward – not intending to wash it, and head towards my room to retreat for the night.

I didn't wait to know what his reply was. Before I lost myself to slumber, I imagined him saying thank you, adding princess at the end.


	6. Chapter 6 : Crocodile's Thick Skin

**[Author's Note]**

 **I grew up in the rural area in Simunjan. My neighbour, who lived across me, had his house built by the river. His house is by the river, mine is not. So anyway, he have strange collection of pets. He kept chickens for the meat, and for some unknown reason, he kept a crocodile. One day, the village was flooded, and the chain on the crocodile was broken or something (I'm not sure. I was 8 at the time). All his livestock fall prey to the crocodile. Usually, the village children will be overjoyed to play in floods but that particular week, no one dared to play in the water. The only pet that survived at the time was his monkey, kept in a steel cage because its too smart to escape if not caged in steel. The monkey was horrified after the incident. It got weirdly passive. No one knew if the crocodile ended up dead, or survived somewhere.**

 **The man was lucky his pet didn't decide to creep inside his house, to his sleeping daughter, was what everyone was talking about at that time.**

 **I cannot forget this incident even now.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6 : Crocodile's Thick Skin**

It was another weekend, and the Detective boys came over to hang out. That is, except Kudou who decided that going to some horrifying crime scene with his patron Mouri is much more exciting than hanging out with children who planned to play with water gun after doing their homework. Naturally, my role was to monitor Genta especially, into finishing his work.

"I can't do this anymore, I'm so hungry…" complained Genta after his 5 minutes attempt at understanding the question.

"You can't eat unless you finish your work," said Ayumi authoritatively.

I didn't have to prepare lunch today since Mrs. Yoshida have prepared for us. Ayumi came over today, excited to share how she helped her mother peel the onions and it made her cry. In her tale, her 'fussy' father came to the kitchen, hugged her while crying out, "You can't be a bride yet". I can picture the adorable child hugged by her doting father while her mom oversees their love with a little laugh.

 _Oh well, not having to prepare lunch is a load off my shoulder._

From the laboratory downstairs emerged Haris, professor's young junior. When he saw us, he froze.

"Who is he?" asked Mitsuhiko to no one in particular.

"Haris. Professor's junior," I replied with a sigh.

I knew the man froze because he realize there was a bunch of kids and he doesn't know how to get along with them, though in his dire case, he doesn't know how to interact with children at all. I then introduced Haris to the three and told the man to proceed doing what he was going to do without the pressure of having to entertain us. Haris gladly accepted the dismissal and went straight to the kitchen.

 _No lunch for him though…_

"Yoshida, how much did you bring?" I asked.

"Bring what?" she asked me back.

"Food," I answered.

"Enough for all of us, plus the professor," she said cheerily. Almost immediately after saying that, registering the reason behind my questions, she added timidly, "but there's none for the mister".

"Mister Haris can take Conan's share, right? So it'll all work out," came Mitsuhiko suggestion, saving the distressed damsel off her guiltless guilt.

Ayumi replied with a relieved ' _um_ ' while the forced homework occupied Genta grumbled something about couldn't get extra portion. Ignoring his complaints, I left them to work and went to the kitchen to inform Haris of the lunch arrangement, intriguingly found him staring at the sink.

"Did you pour some toxic chemicals in our sink or something?" I probed derisively.

Stupefied from being disturbed in his thoughts, Haris turned and just stared at me. When he doesn't seem to attempt at anything other than staring, I gave up waiting.

"I'm just here to tell you that lunch is in the containers here," I said, pointing to the food containers the generous parents gave.

"It's for all of us, so don't take more than your portion," I added unnecessarily, regretting the light warning too late.

"Ah," the man managed, "thank you."

I was about to leave him when he suddenly started justifying his odd silence earlier.

"I was thinking about making lunch, and suddenly thought of meat, somewhat think that there's a lot kinds of meat I haven't had, such as crocodiles, but the skin is terribly hard, isn't it? And if the nature of the animal is such that it cannot breathe through its skin, only through nose, yet it stays underwater for very long, for as long as its body heat can stand but still, if such tenacious cell can be extracted for other biological purpose –" he ranted but I stopped him in his tracks.

"Ok, I get it. You got distracted while looking for something to eat. The sink had nothing to do with your thoughts. It's fine," I said.

I left Haris immediately, pondering his explanation. The man ought to have some spine. Why does he feel the need to explain himself to a 7 year old?

"Crocodiles, eh?" I thought aloud.

"Oh? Haibara know about the Ramree Battle?" asked Mitsuhiko, delightedly looking at me who might share his wisdom in miscellaneous facts.

Fortunately for him, I do know that part of history.

"Yes, saltwater crocodiles, right? What about it?" I asked.

"You barge in on our quiz and you didn't even know the question?" asked a displeased voice similar to that of the professor.

"Are you an esper?" asked Genta with superfluous admiration.

"Perhaps," I jested.

The upset now-ignored professor then barged himself into the conversation again, explaining the horrific massacre of the year 1945's Battle of Ramree Island.

"Almost all the Japanese army was wiped out by the crocodiles. It was madness. They went there supposedly to win against the Allied Nations, although they were defeated anyways but the troop was supposed to head back with the news of their loss when nature took its chance, raided the defeated army, leaving only about 20 to crawl back to base, injured or mauled. None of them could have predicted that the swamp was infected."

Agasa triumphantly bragged his brilliant knowledge to the three 7 years old. It was a success though. Ayumi and Mitsuhiko praised him endlessly while Genta remarked the horror of actually encountering a crocodile.

"So you watched documentaries yesterday, instead of focusing on your research," I commented.

Flustered, Agasa gave out an awkward troubled interjection. So that explains his junior and the crocodile thoughts. But to think of such creatures as food is just -

"There's a lot of designer handbags using crocodile skin, you know. So maybe they're not so dangerous," said Ayumi naively.

"Their skins are pretty thick…." wondered Genta aloud.

"Stop it guys. That's like _umm_ … animal cruelty," expressed Mitsuhiko.

Then almost in unison, both Agasa and Genta had their stomach growled. Since Genta was almost done with his homework, and everyone feeling pity for the old professor, we headed to the dining room for lunch. Haris was there, but he took his portion and ate at a corner instead of joining us.

Somehow, Genta's words echoes itself at the back of my mind.

 _Thick skinned, patiently lies in wait, and then, when opportunity strikes, it unleash its jaw, delivering terror onto the victim._

I guess it had to. They are known to have very small legs, if they are not opportunistic, the crocodiles would have extinct. Such great hunting skills is what made them so fearful anyway.

 _Right. Like those guys. Always around, camouflaging themselves in the water._

At that point, I was suddenly wary. I didn't sense any of the organization's vibe but I couldn't dismiss the unsettling feeling. It felt like danger lurks just too near.

"What's up, Haibara?" asked Agasa, worried by my facial expression.

 _I need to work on that. Am I worrying too much? Still it's the careless tranquility that caught prey into the jaws of those vicious crocodiles._

I spent the rest of the day hiding the unease. I purposely lose the water gun game, not being able to switch off the recollection of actually being pointed by a gun. Even when night took over, my anxiety did not found its peace. Maybe this is how I am doomed to feel for the rest of my life. Founding solace in the grim acknowledgement, I allowed myself to be taken into the nightmares of the temporary death called sleep.


	7. Chapter 7 : Memories at Sixteen

**[Author's Note]**

 **Thank you for all the reviews. I appreciate all of them! I wanted to include more characters but I'm trying to stay close to the original plot. That's why, given the very little chance that Haibara would interact with all of her interesting pursuers, I will have to dedicate more time to find for the best way to weave the right story of when they (these interestingly challenging characters) do meet.**

 **Enjoy Haibara's past.**

* * *

 **Chapter 7 : Memories at Sixteen**

"Ok, let's wrap this up," I said, tired of the day's research. I wanted to hurry home but since she was waiting for me, I had to give up on my evening solitary for her.

At my order, one by one of the researchers exited the laboratory, leaving me with the bubbling green concoction nicely tucked in test tubes. I can see them through the glass panels, saying their goodbyes, as if being friendly to one another could save them somehow. It's a cutthroat world, once they're useless, even friends become strangers.

I took one final look at my yet to be completed work - still questioning the reason as to why my parents decided to venture into this business - and voiding myself of the troubles of emotion, I closed off the laboratory. Before I got out of the building, I noticed the back of that woman, lingering around the second floor. The middle section of the building was empty so the walkway of the second floor can easily be seen from the first. The third however, requires the eyes of a hawk. I tried to ignore her presence, hurrying myself towards the exit but even with my backs turned, I could swear she noticed me leaving, glaring down on my white coat, with some unexplained hatred.

"Your sister?" came another rare voice, a unit well-known, but does not belong to my department.

I should have expected him to be here when I saw that woman. He stood there, half blocking the entrance with his build, while his aura itself blocked the other half - my intended way out. He wasn't going to let me leave without an answer.

"Yes, like always," I managed, trying not to show the fear I have for the guy.

"Careful, Sherry. Don't let her in so much," he said lightly, but the tensed warning did not escape me.

"I wouldn't, Gin. Never," I replied, honest to myself.

Satisfied with my resolve, Gin went inside, greeted by the waiting woman, and engaged themselves in what might be another horrendous plot.

 _She will never have to know._

I went to the parking area, planning the conversation I will soon be having with Akemi. I made a final check of the inside of my bag, making sure that I brought the disk along, else Akemi would throw a fit at my lack of bonding attempt. Even when I told her I don't have much to share, she would always insist on the exchange.

 _One dull picture for tens of exciting travel ones. Hardly a fair trade._

That day, however, it wasn't pictures that she wanted to share. I parked my Harley-Davidson at the side of the restaurant, sighing over the effort I had to go through just to keep in touch. The location was a modest family restaurant, which service could be fast but hoping for a greatness for my taste palette would probably be too much. I unwittingly smiled at Akemi's simplicity. I could afford so much yet I was envious at how she lives her life.

The bell hung at the restaurant entrance chimed when I entered. There she was, long hair, pretty and perfect, waiting for me with a warm smile. Only with Akemi do I have the luxury to be at peace. I gave her a short smile, and walked towards her looking at the floor most of the time. It was when I reached the table that I realized she was not alone. Her boyfriend, Moboroshi Dai, who worked with the same organization as I - only under Gin's department, was sitting next to her, without acknowledging my arrival.

"What's he doing here?" I asked.

"That… we have something to tell you," she said, looking serious.

"You can get married if you like, but I'm busy. I'm not available to help for the preparation," I said, unable to hide the irritation.

"That's not it, idiot!" exclaimed Akemi, flustered for some seconds before adding, "We know what you've been doing. And I am certain you yourself doesn't like it."

I was dumbfounded. I glowered at the man nicknamed Rye, wondering what possessed his mind to share my work with my sister. He should have known how confidential the project was.

"It's none of your business. We both know it's not anything we can change so please just don't probe into it," I said, almost pleading to my only source of peace to not disrupt our lives.

"I can't. It is wrong and I don't want you to continue down this path. You're my only sister and I love you," she said, trying to coax me in her failing plan.

Straitening herself while Moboroshi Dai continued to stare at me with his judging eyes, she added, "It'll be difficult alone, but Dai can help. His comrades are already on the move. It'll be a long battle, but we can escape this horrible life once they're gone."

"Comrades?" I asked curiously.

Moboroshi Dai, or Rye, was a spy; that was certain. I thought of how best my reply should be. If I refuse, then with his capability, he could easily have me killed. Still, with Gin recent frequentness to my department, I dare not risk betrayal. Moboroshi Dai stood up then, perhaps knowing what my say in it will be, from his study of my facial expression.

"I will pretend that I've never heard of this," I said loud enough for him to hear.

Akemi looked dejected. True to my word, I pretended as if the conversation never took place and proceeded with questions on Akemi's recent travels. While at first downhearted, her spirit lifted up by itself as our conversation dragged on. We exchanged our disks, hoping to be relieved with the knowledge of each other's lives when we view the pictures in our home later on.

After dinner, just as I was about to get up, Akemi asked, "I will not abandon you, Shiho."

"Be safe," I said, brushing her words off.

"I will. We're not alone. I'm not alone. Dai will keep me safe," she said happily clinging on the affection of the double agent.

I gave her a slight smile, hoping drearily that the man will indeed keep her safe. It's a cutthroat world, and a double agent is the last person we should gave our trust to. I wanted to tell that to her, but Akemi trusted the man, and she had a gift for trusting the right people.

I left her then, riding my Harley-Davidson into the night, trying to find solace in all that was messed up since our birth. When I reached my apartment, Akemi's words, that she will not abandon me, echoed in my sleep.

I woke up, seeing myself in an unfamiliar room, and felt an odd pang of headache. I noticed the minor dampness of the pillow behind me, and forced myself to wake. It was then that I noticed the tears that were dripping from my eyes. I motioned my fingers to my eyes, hoping to wipe it away.

 _Ah_ , reality.

My small little fingers brought Haibara Ai back to earth. After the forceful recollection of my little self, I climbed down the bed and headed towards the bathroom to brush my teeth.

 _Dai will keep me safe._

 _Damn_ , I thought. I will have to lie to the professor that I'm sick. That was when the clear aqua marbles found themselves out my system again.


	8. Chapter 8 : Dishonest Vanity

**[Author's Note]**

 **Sorry for the late update. I had frequent trips to the hospitals and can't seem to find the right time. Anyways, here's the 8th chapter. Enjoy.**

* * *

 **Chapter 8 : Dishonest Vanity**

There was something I've been meaning to ask him from the first time we met. I dragged the whole thing on, never really finding the right time to ask. Maybe part of me was scared of the answer I imagined him giving. I should have known him better by now, just as he must have known me. My whole life had been a confidential sworn to secrecy deal, it felt easier to just keep everything to myself. I cannot change the past. Still, this bottled up guilt is eating me. I didn't want to feel like this anymore. At the very least, not around him.

Genta accidently pushed me from behind with the extra weight of his front, stopping my negative thoughts from accumulating further. He gave me a reflexed ' _sorry_ ' and resumed his running in the area with Mitsuhiko and Ayumi. Kudou passed by, smirking the you-deserved-it look like a little child but then raising his voice to the other three, telling them to slow down.

It was another camping trip organized by Agasa. This time round, we went camping by a private beach owned by one of his wealthy colleagues from university. While the kids ran around playing the soft sands, Agasa and I set out the tents near a rocky uphill that served as protection from the wind. Once everything seemed in place, I asked Kudou to gather woods for the campfire while I rested myself on the beach mat, soaking the damp breeze of the beach.

"It's a little lonely to be the only campers," commented Agasa at the sight of the deserted private beach.

"I think it's nice. There's no one here that would disturb us," I replied after giving my answer some thought.

" _Yea_ , you seem like you're used to being by yourself at a beach. I think that's rare… It's not like you were an heiress," the old man muttered to himself.

He have a point for the sulk though. I'm sure he was hoping some tranquility when he planned this trip but he didn't realize how much he would miss the usual hype and buzz around public beaches. In my case however, not having strangers really do put me at ease. The owner was kind enough to let us roam about freely while chaperoning at a distant, which basically translate 'I'll be at my mansion uphill if you need me, but I wish you don't, so just have fun and don't call me'. At least it sounded that way to me when the couple, mainly the lady-friend, allowed Agasa to camp at their beach. Considering how the owner looked a little like having a fever, and retreated to her private villa just for a cure, she must have been quite the heiress. Or the wife of one. I wasn't an heiress, but aside from having an actual job, I don't think my lifestyle was much different to one.

"Here's everything," came Mitsuhiko's voice, dropping the collected dry branches in our prepared campfire space.

I lied still, watching the others set up the campfire, not having the intention to offer my effort. It wasn't that I didn't want to help, it was that I didn't think of helping. Kudou caught my lazy stare and grunted.

"Don't queen us around! You come help too," he said.

" _Ha-ha_ ," I emphasized – but stood anyways, "coming from the King of Slacks".

"Kin-g?!" he exclaimed.

"-of Slacks," laughed Ayumi.

"It fits you, Conan," acknowledged Genta, "you're always slacking off."

"You're the last person I want to hear that from," replied Kudou unmoved.

"Anyway, what about food, Professor?" cut Mitsuhiko.

Agasa smiled wryly. "Here!" he said as he showed us the cool box containing several fresh fishes in ice.

"We didn't go fishing though," commented Ayumi.

"He probably got it from his friend's kitchen," deduced Kudou. I nodded at his statement, a little disappointed at the arrangement.

"This is kind of boring…" said Genta.

Having his plan backfired, Agasa nervously tried to improvise.

"Just for tonight. We're still fishing our own food tomorrow," he added.

We were grilling the fishes when I suddenly crave for the suspicious neighbour's cream stew. He brought it to our house just the other day. He gave some lame excuse about how lonely it will be to eat by himself, so he wanted to share. I still remember how the aroma gave me pleasant dreams. It might be an exaggeration but I do appreciate a home-cooked meal by someone other than myself once a while. It's hard to believe how a bachelor like himself could fix splendid dishes. Thinking of it made this grilled dinner seemed an awful comparison.

"Yo, Agasa!" greeted the owner, showing up out of the blue.

"Ootori, what are you doing here?" he asked, confused by the appearance.

"I'm not really an Ootori anymore… I brought some seasonings and drinks. Can I join you?" the lady asked, trying not to show how feverish she really is.

"Sorry, it's a habit. Weren't you having dinner with your family?" asked the professor, obviously not trying to call her by anything.

"Supposed to but you know how they are… Duty calls," said the sad looking lady, sitting familiarly on the soft sand.

The professor, although welcoming, was clearly feeling awkward by the owner sudden appearance. Kudou and I nonchalantly ignored the weird atmosphere while the kids happily helped themselves with dinner, one that the lady helped to extravagate. It was to be honest, an appealing camp dinner. Although most of us were grateful for the delicious meal, her barging in ruined the camp atmosphere and that, I'm not sure if anyone's grateful for.

"That's the best grilled fish ever!" claimed a happy stuffed Genta.

 _All except his belly, I supposed._

"I'm glad – " said the lady, but suddenly stopped, gasping for air.

" _Oi_ Ootori," called Agasa.

Kudou moved in as the lady groan in pain, clenching her stomach while she let herself fell, sitting on the sand.

"Food poisoning. Stop eating guys," ordered Kudou, "get water."

Mitsuhiko then grabbed the tea we left to cool, and gave it to Kudou.

 _Wrong._

The lady was about to drink but my body instinctively moved, jerking the cup away.

"What are you doing?!" shouted Kudou, desperate to provide first aid.

 _Wrong._

"Haibara…" called out Ayumi, though I couldn't be sure if she called out of confusion or worry.

 _Wrong._

"You cannot be sure where the contamination…is," managed the lady, still clenching her pained stomach.

"Let's give her something unopened then," suggested Mitsuhiko, grabbing a bottled juice.

 _Wrong._

I stopped Mitsuhiko before the bottle was handed to Kudou. I shook, not thinking of why I did. Confused, Kudou sigh but then asked Agasa to carry the lady to her house while he dialed for ambulance. We left the campsite in a hurry and upon arriving at the mansion, Kudou immediately asked one of her maid to get her water. The lady was then attended by her maids.

"Why did you stop us from getting her water?" asked Mitsuhiko while we waited for ambulance in the living room.

I stared at the bright boy, not knowing what made me did what I did. All I knew was that my head kept telling me that it was wrong.

"Yeah, Haibara… why would you do that?" asked Genta.

"That's probably to save me from doing something stupid," replied Kudou in my stead.

"But really, that was quick thinking. I didn't think of it at all," he said, in that subtle thank you way without actually saying his thanks.

"Ah! Because Conan was about to give her drinks from our camp! The lady did say we don't know the source of contamination," said Ayumi.

"But what about the juice?" inquired Mitsuhiko.

Before anyone managed to deduce any more, the ambulance came, and the maids hurriedly escorted them to the lady's room. The ever curious Kudou sneaked past the doctors into the lady's room.

After some few minutes, the ambulance left with the doctors without taking the lady with them.

"So it wasn't very serious after all," said Agasa with relief.

"So, what did they say, Conan?" asked Mitsuhiko towards Kudou who entered the living room as soon as the doctors went out.

"It was subtle food poisoning but her condition was bad because she's running high on fever," he replied.

"I guess we need to get rid of the food. Also, you boys should drink a lot of water, to get it out of your system," said Agasa.

"Okay~" they replied in unison.

The maid then came, informing us that the lady called. We therefore went to the lady's room, to hear her thanking us and apologize at the same time.

"Have you called your husband and son?" asked Agasa.

"I didn't, but I suppose our butler might have. It's not that important," she said, though I could slightly note the sulk in her tone.

Agasa then excused himself and us, intending to return to our campsite. When we got to the entrance, we saw that the husband had return, calmly greeted us before we exited their house.

We followed the car tracks on the road to find ourselves at the intersection to the beach. At the corner, we can hear the screeching of another car, as if racing in on the owned property.

It felt like a long night by the time we finished cleaning up. After enduring Agasa's multi-pun quizzes, the children unwillingly tire their eyes out thus was carried into the tent by the old professor. He then warmed himself by the fire but dozed off just as soon. Encouraged by the silence of the night, I decided to have a little walk before waking him up to sleep in the tent.

" _Oi_ , what's up with you today?" asked Kudou from behind, who apparently trailed me in my allegedly lone walks.

Wrong.

"Question," I said. Kudou replied with a confused expression.

"Was there… at any point… did, no… do you blame me?" I dared myself the question.

Kudou then sigh.

"I wonder what it was about…" he said, "we all prepared the food together. If anything, it's our fault."

 _Idiot._

"I almost forgot your old profession," muttered Kudou, "but I guess you can't, eh?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"When in high fever, the sugar content in drinks might worsen the condition of those suffering from food poisoning, although I'm not sure why… but you would know, right?" he deduced confidently.

"Maybe," I said leaving him for the professor.

"Dishonest woman," I could hear Kudou muttered softly.

The next morning, Agasa suggested that we greet the owner before starting our activity. The lady was about to have breakfast with her family when we came, but for some happy excuse, she invited us along. She claimed to have been fine in the morn and fit for anything. Her son, who arrived the night before, shortly after we left, softly hinted that it was all an act to get him and his father home. The lady ignored the remark, cheerily making us try the shortcakes her husband brought back instead.

"Don't glutton yourself up," warned her stoic husband.

As soon as we were done, we left them for the beach hoping that our morning greeting was not in any way intrusive.

"Poor lady, it must have been hard for her to have such a mean husband," said Ayumi sympathetically.

"It was an arranged marriage… but it's not really for us to pry. I'm sure she got well fast thanks to her husband too," said Agasa.

"Why thanks to her husband?" asked Genta.

"Yesterday, it was her husband's shift at the hospital, I'm pretty sure that was why the ambulance arrived so fast," replied the professor.

"Why can't they get along though? They're all tensed," Ayumi stated her observation in her childish frustration.

"I guess rich people doesn't know how to be honest. The lady won't call her husband, the son won't admit that he's glad his mom was alright and the husband won't show his anxiousness when his wife got ill," said Kudou.

"And how would you know that, Mister Detective?" I teased.

"He did all that uncaring act but there was tire tracks yesterday indicating that the car was driven in hurry. Also, the screeching sound we heard yesterday was probably from her son," explained Kudou.

"Those are all substantial though," commented Mitsuhiko.

"I bet he's sure because the lady seemed happier this morning," I said.

"Also, if she doesn't like her marriage, she would have just allowed Professor to call her maiden name," added Kudou.

"Incredible, Conan!" praised Ayumi.

I stared at the arrogant detective, wondering why in his brilliance, did he not able to deduce the right direction to my question.


	9. Chapter 9 : Resolves and Throbbing Heart

**[Author's Note]**

 **Thank you to everyone who gave such positive reviews. Also thank you** **tthpf** **for your continuous support.** **You guys strengthen my will to continue this ever more.**

 **Also, sorry about the confusion for the previous chapter. I knew it was a little bit winded, but well... I still want to leave it at that. Did anyone figure out what Haibara wanted to express in the end? _Hehe._**

 **So anyway, the story this time span for two or three chapter. Enjoy.**

* * *

 **Chapter 9 : Resolves and Throbbing Hearts**

"You can reach our Megback Island if you navigate straight towards the lighthouse," explained the guide.

Agasa and Haris was visiting another colleague of them, who was studying in the island. I accepted Agasa's invitation, hoping for a nice ferry ride, and a look at the steel composition research his colleague was delving himself into. Agasa was once again stuck with one of his invention and around the time he realized that he was almost broke to start his own independent research on metal composition, his old colleague, also Haris previous supervisor, called him for help with one of his machine maintenance. Although he could've asked for a pay, Agasa made a trade deal instead; his maintenance service with the friend's research papers.

 _The old me would have found brilliance in such deal though._

In a way, it was a nice ferry ride. Through some strings, Agasa managed a decent ride, complete with guides and cabin food. I stood by the rail, breathing the scent of the waves.

'The best feeling is to have your hair brushed by the wind,' came the nostalgic recollection of my long-haired sister.

I can feel the wind whistling at my ears, and brushing past my neck, gently trying to expose the rest of my neck to the surface of the air.

"Careful, princess. You willl fall is you take one more step," said a gentle warning voice, belonged to my nosy neighbour.

I forced myself out of my fancy dreams, only to notice that the man was right. I stood almost too close to the edge, and the large railings weren't going to block my fall. My tiny body will slip through the railing and I would have found myself out drowning in the ocean had it not been for his warning.

While I was still standing over the edge of the ship, Subaru took a careful step closer. I observed his cautious pace towards me, unsure what my next course of action should be.

 _Should I move away, or should I stay? Is it normal to run away from him, or should I just ignore him like a misbehaved child?_

The wind then blew a little harder, catching my careless foot to shift unfavourably, almost falling off the ship, had it not been for Subaru's timely grip on my arm.

"I did say careful," he stated, almost sounding irritated over my lack of concern.

 _Was that concern for my safety?_

I've already knew enough to know that he knew who I really am, so it doesn't feel likely that he would be worried for the adult ex-criminal Shiho Miyano, wouldn't he? It was not like anyone else was here for him to keep pretending that I was a child.

"Haibara," called Agasa, turning from one corner.

I shrugged Subaru's grip off, walking imperturbably towards the professor. Agasa and I engrossed ourselves on talks about his latest game design, leaving our backs scrutinized by Subaru's watchful eyes.

Later that evening, the four of us gathered at the cabin cafeteria, ready for dinner. Subaru and Haris quickly engaged themselves in mechanism discussion, leaving Agasa to sadly lament over the choice of food I placed on his plate. By the time we finished our dinner, Haris quickly excused himself, not wanting to stay in our social circle for long.

"How come he tag along?" I asked with annoyance.

"This trip is for me and Haris in the first place…"said Agasa, confused by my question.

"She meant me," said Subaru calmly, "I'm interested too; lighter steel composition could make formidable corks and screws. It's the tiny strong components that makes an advance in the electronics. Everyone appreciates a quality invention."

 _Like you're an engineering student._

"I am an engineering student after all," he said, emphasizing his status as if reading my mind.

At that point, I had enough of the useless banter between us, which I might have started with my initial distrust. I couldn't however, lower my guard totally, although Agasa's lack of guard irritated me. Despite Kudou repeatedly telling me how the guy is trustworthy, I still have my doubts. I wasn't sure why the doubts lingered considering how I somewhat able to trust Agent Jodie, who still doesn't know who I am.

"I'm going for a walk. Professor, don't eat so much for supper," I said, leaving the dining area.

The night breeze was chilly to the point that it reaches the bone. It wasn't going to be a pleasant walk, but I was too stubborn to lose.

 _I'm certainly going mad. There isn't any battle in the first place._

I caught sight of Haris, staring into the open sea. His dark disheveled hair was combed by the wind, making his unshaven nerdy appearance looked charming. The quiet, serious sort of charm. His dimples seemed nonexistent, as if the night gave him an edge, making him look like some sophisticated bachelor, figuring out the worlds' complication.

"Something on your mind?" I asked, purposely interrupting the man's solitude.

Haris gave a surprised jolt at my abrupt appearance. Then surprisingly, he gave me an unguarded smile, which made me feel that even Hugo loses in comparison that night.

 _Calm down. I'm seven years old._

"Do you realize how you speak much like an adult, girl?" he asked.

Somehow, even though he spoke without any emphasization, the word girl hit me like an intended mock.

"Isn't that fine? Everyone grows up sooner or later," I replied, not caring how I sounded.

"You're right. Anyway, where's your parents? How did you come to live with Professor Agasa?" he asked again.

"They're dead," I answered, hoping the reply served for both questions.

The socially awkward man then resurfaced. I didn't feel like dwelling in more awkward conversation with yet another scientist - I had enough of that back when I was Sherry, but I was also not eager to leave the nerd.

"It's fine. Why did you ask?" I asked.

"I planned on talking about our mothers, I guess," he replied guiltily.

"Oh? What about your mom?"

"She's alive… but she's blind. I was hoping I could invent some device that would somehow return her eyesight," he said, in the monotone factual manner.

"So you're strengthening your resolve?" I asked, somehow guessing his long gaze into the space.

" _Haha_ , when you put it that way, I feel like my spirits lifted," he said, with a boyish laugh, making his dimples visible under the glow of the night lamp.

 _I am definitely being weird._

"I guess children are miracles…" he muttered.

"Come again," I said, expecting him to repeat his sentence.

" _Nah_ , I'm glad I met you, little girl," he said with a grin, "someday when you're older, you're gonna make your man very blessed indeed."

 _Wha-t?! That's was so…_

"… cheesy," I said but the gush was already up to my head.

I was sure that if it was broad daylight, and if I was still Shiho's height, the nerd would have caught the blush that I can feel up my cheeks. I retreated away from him a little, hoping the nonchalant distance would hide more of my face.

Haris then turned to me with a laugh but then I caught his horrified expression. It went all too fast. I could feel the wind pushing me with a force that my light weight and tiny figure could not fight.

By the time my body could move, my chest fought against the heavy push of the unending waves. I can see the figures of men on the furthering ferry, but I couldn't hear anything anymore.

 _Mom, is this it?_


	10. Chapter 10 : Cigarette and Cheese

**[Author's Note]**

 **Here's the continuation for the previous chapter. With every chapter, I get even more nervous trying to keep close to the plotline (or at least, the speculated plot) and staying true to their characters.**

 **I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 10 : Cigarette and Cheese**

I unlocked the door to my apartment, tired of the day's burden. The scent of tobacco rushed itself to my alerted sense, but it was a familiar scent therefore did not trigger any wariness from me. However, the absence of earlier notice to barge into my apartment alerted me. The acquainted trespasser waited calmly on my couch, enjoying his puff of cigarette in an eerie comfort.

"You've been riding far more often now," said Gin.

"It's not a car. Occasionally, Harley needs a longer drive," I replied.

"Where to?" asked the insatiable man.

"I stopped at the bridge. Like every other burdened woman forced into something she doesn't like, I had to clear my mind," I said with voice raised in frustration.

"Rye's an FBI dog. Your sister – "

The whole scene then dissembled itself into another one. My body ached by the shot through my elbow. The old acquainted silver haired man now aimed his gun, smirking with his familiar spook. The falling snow could not hide the gleam of his long hair. He would recognize me anywhere, as I would he. His once mysteriously challenging stare now turned cold and intimidating. This was how he hunted.

 _Only this time it's my life he's after. Mine._

"- join your sister –"

The voice grew muffled but it continued to echo. The image of our cold reunion on the snow covered rooftop, dressed in the red colour of my dripping blood surfaced into the frame. "Beautiful," his words repeated itself. A white surge of light blinded me just in time when I couldn't stand the echoes of his dreary voice. I could feel my stomach clench, ready to release the bloated content of unknown baggage.

I opened my eyes, realizing that I was spewing water out of my system. I could feel another hand massaging my back, encouraging the act. When I finally settled myself, I turned towards the help, registering a tired looking Subaru, strengthening himself up.

"What happened?" I asked, realizing the parched throat due to excess salt content.

I knew immediately my situation then. I remembered almost drowning after my reckless footing and unfortunate luck with the wind throwing me off the ferry.

"You saved me?" I asked.

Subaru ignored me, looking around the area with a collected strength, trying to focus on the next action. I looked around and found no one except my neighbour thus came to the conclusion that he did saved me and we were possibly stranded on a nearby area.

I could feel then, my strength, draining out. All I wanted was to lie down, collect my strength through rest but I daren't suggest the idea towards my savior when he seemed to have other ideas.

"Can you get up?" asked Subaru.

I wanted to tell him no, because I didn't feel like I wanted to move about. Nevertheless, my logical reasoning planned on replying positively, out of good manner and cooperation for whatever he might plan to do. Instead, I shook my head. My weak knees wouldn't carry itself up.

Subaru then gently carried me on his back. His kindness, one I knew somehow that he have shown a few times, still surprised me but I didn't reject it. It was certainly fatigue that compelled me to accept the gesture. The strength of the child Haibara could not match my wariness. Soon after several steps forward, my eyes reluctantly closed itself, giving Subaru the rare trust for my safety.

 _This is the best execution ground for a traitor, don't you think?_

"Wake up," called Subaru.

I woke up on a single bed in an unfamiliar room with Subaru standing beside me, looking grimly down on me.

"I managed to contact Professor Agasa. The ferry will make a detour here before leaving for the island," he explained.

I didn't try to respond to him. Despite probably being the only to have some rest, I was still tired. When Subaru suggested that I should eat something, he went out of the room without waiting for my response. I positioned myself to sit, still fighting the buzzing headache from unwanted dreams.

Soon after, Subaru entered the room again, bringing a tray with a mug of water and a bowl of soup.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Some fishing island on the way. Eat up," he said placing the tray on my lap, "I asked for it from the wife of the fisherman."

"So I should say thank you right…" I muttered.

"I rather you don't. I planned on telling 'I told you so'," he said.

"Ah… Here was your chance to be my knight in shining armor," I joked.

"The honour's too great for me. Give it to someone like Haris," said Subaru mockingly.

"I would, but too old for Haibara Ai. Plus, too cheesy," I responded.

"I agree on the age gap. But Haibara Ai deserves someone who have some cheesiness, don't you think?"

" _Nah_ , she doesn't," I said, half convinced of that part of truth.

"I'm sure she does. Sinister guys with no sense of humour doesn't get the highlight in the happy ending," said Subaru.

I looked up to his eyes unable to tell if he was still playing with words or was he implying anything.

"I think… professor might have eaten extra cheese for breakfast. It was on the menu…," I said.

Subaru then snorted, stood, and left the room with the empty bowl and mug. Before he left, he pointed out to a set of folded clothes; a boy's T-shirt and shorts, possibly belonging to the son of the house.

After changing myself into the clothes, I exited the room, looking for Subaru. I found him chatting with a couple, and when he noticed my arrival, he quickly gave his appreciation and then excused us out of the residence.

We were walking toward the small dock in silence when the scent of waves was suddenly brought to my senses. Somehow, everything felt like a terrible burden.

 _I'll send you to join your sister._

"My sister," I said without thoughts, "I think she died near the docks."

Subaru didn't respond to my words. I didn't know how much he knew about me, whether he knew of Akemi and how screwed our lives were just for being born into the syndicate. He probably knew, since he's once one those that Kudou trusted enough to be near his family and friends. Some part of me rebelled, telling me my weakened state was not a good idea for random conversation.

Some strange gut then ignored all the fair warning and allowed my emotion to get the better of me.

"I think so. From the newspaper," I continued.

"It's not so bad," I said, staring at the view of the ocean in front of me, "to smell the ocean in your last breath."

"Was that what you thought of in your drowning experience?" asked Subaru.

I was almost certain I could sense a hint of anger in his question.

"No, I thought of my mother," I replied, remembering grasping for life when the waves hit me.

Both of us resumed the silence, only now, it felt weighty, as if something that shouldn't have been said was left out in the open, but none of us wished to grab onto the hanging topic.

"Professor's here," said Subaru, raising his hand as a signal for the incoming ferry.

We boarded the ferry once again, but Subaru stayed in his cabin room most of the time throughout the remaining journey.

"I rather you don't go for more walks, Haibara," said Agasa after lunch.

Haris, who was sitting across us at lunch tensed up at Agasa's words.

 _Oi oi, I'm the one who's supposed to have the trauma._

"Got it," I replied for their sake, then hurried to the toilet.

On the way, I passed by a table of smokers. The smell filled my lungs, and made me nauseous. I went out of the cabin for some air, gripping the railings firmly this time. Somehow, instead of inhaling the scent of waves, I breathed in the remembrance of the familiar scent of tobacco.

I decided then, that a nap inside would be a better deal.


	11. Chapter 11 : The Present Preferred Song

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Taylor's song. Or anything in this story except the plot. Aoyama- _sensei_ rule DC's world.

* * *

 **[Author's Note]**

 **I'm not really a Taylor's fan but I do like her songs. There are quite a few that I don't. Anyway, the story comes about because my sister played her song endlessly during her birthday and my youtube recommendation was filled with hers. Somehow, it inspired this chapter.**

 **I also found Okino Yoko's songs to be catchy. You can check out the kanji lyrics here:** /lyrics/detective-conan-meitantei-conan/otomegokoro-a-maidens-mind-detective-conan-meitantei-conan/ . **Just add the http.**

 **Also, I realized that I wrote Higo's name as Hugo in Chapter 9. Sorry.**

 **Do enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 11: The Present Preferred Song**

It was drizzling that day. It would have been a perfect day to lie on the couch with coffee by your side, and cuddle yourself under the blanket with a good book on your lap. It would. Nevertheless, an elementary student should still be in school, listening to the teacher playing the piano and singing along with the rest of the class, drowning the sound of the rain with our out of tune voices.

"Edogawa, can you play the instrument instead?" asked one of the boys in the class.

Kudou replied with a bored expression, knowing full well that everyone couldn't stand his tone deaf situation but he was too proud to back out.

"Everyone will sing," said our music teacher.

"Again, from the top!"

After school, we hanged around Mitsuhiko's place for lunch since Agasa bailed on the kids lunch plan. His trip to Megback Island proved to be a success and he had been engrossed in his laboratory ever since.

Mitsuhiko's mother prepared a balanced Japanese meal, with the rice at the center of it and grilled fish as the main dish. There were two vegetable dishes, and the common soup nicely scooped into each of our respective bowl. Even Genta dared not request for extra on his portion, seeing how everyone else's were equally divided. There was even the * _hashi yasume_ prepared for her dear bright growing son. It was a complete set of a traditional Japanese meal.

 _So much work. Tsuburaya's fortunate._

We expressed our gratitude for the meal, and immediately gathered round Mitsuhiko's room, since his mother was particular about students finishing their homework.

" _Aaah_ , she barged into my room!" complained Mitsuhiko.

"Your sister?" asked Ayumi.

"How would you know?" asked Genta.

Indeed, the room seemed normal. It doesn't look like anyone had messed around with his unusually neat room. Everything was as orderly as Mitsuhiko liked. The owner knows best though. He pointed at his radio, and the CDs stacked beside it.

"That's not mine," he claimed.

"Taylor Swift? That's the famous US singer. Your sister's into foreign music?" asked Kudou, studying the titles.

"Recently. She said she loves scandal," said Mitsuhiko trying to remember what her sister actually said.

"Scandal?" asked Genta.

"She's famous for writing love songs. And breakup songs. Since most of her songs are based on someone's story, every new hit becomes a scandal of a possible trail of heartbreak," I said.

"Do you like her?" Ayumi asked.

I smiled at the thought. I wasn't a fan of the singer but I do know a lot of her songs. I guess similar to Mitsuhiko's sister, I can't escape the fun of keeping up with celebrities scandals. At the moment however, any celebrities' story cannot match my curiosity for Okino Yoko and Higo's scandal.

"I know some of her songs. They're nice to listen to," I replied, once again aware of the nice drizzle outside.

"Let's play it," suggested Ayumi.

"These aren't new album…" observed Kudou.

Mitsuhiko shrugged but played one of the CD to please both Ayumi and me. It has been sometime since I actually listened to English songs. It wasn't like I haven't been listening at all since Agasa was into the 60's Beatles. Presumably from the effect of the rain, I got dragged into the melancholy of some made up time gap from when I was still in the States.

 _But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing it the rain_

Was there a time when that happened? I do remember screaming and fighting. The last bit was a little dramatic though. Songs bring about flashbacks so easily. There he was, standing under the rain, his right hand firmly grabbing hold on my left. Too bad, it wasn't some sort of romantic remorse. Our locked eyes were definitely of anger.

 _It's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name_

"The beat is catchy," said Ayumi.

I had to hold back my snicker at Ayumi's oddly timed comment. I guess the lyrics does hold some part of a universal truth. Only certain people would be on your mind at 2 in the morning. Back then, I really did curse him but I was under surveillance, so it was one of those murmured curses when no one else is around.

 _Breaking down and coming undone, it's a roller coaster kind of rush_

"I don't get it," said Genta.

" _Hmm_ … there's the word 'kiss'. Surely a love song," said Ayumi.

"It's not really a happy song, guys," remarked Kudou.

"Is it a break-up song?" asked Mitsuhiko.

 _That's the way I loved you._

"Nope," I replied, pushing the stop button. I quickly shuffled through the playlist on my phone and played Okino Yoko's A Maiden's Mind.

"As expected, Japanese songs sound much better," said Genta.

"Isn't that because you don't understand that English song?" asked Kudou in light mock.

Genta stuck out his tongue, and resumed pretending to write something in his notebook. Mitsuhiko on the other hand, diligently kept the CD back to its position, frowning at the extra unknown items in his room.

By the time we finished with our homework, it was evening. Mitsuhiko's father was already home from work thus offered to send each of us home. I reached home to find myself greeted by the lonely wall, considering Agasa was still somewhere down his laboratory.

When I turned on the TV, Higo face appeared in the commercial, accompanied by Okino Yoko's latest song. It was a sport shoe commercial and Higo does look handsome in his pair. It brought me back to the time the Detective Boys went and see his game at the stadium.

 _Maybe it's time I buy new shoes. Matching ones with Higo._

I giggled at the thought.

"Oh, there's a game tonight. Did you know?" asked Subaru, appearing out of the blue, his usual entrance.

"Big Osaka?" I asked.

"Yes. It's not live. It's a replay of the weekend's match," he replied.

"Count me in," I said, sure that my eyes was gleaming in anticipation.

"Should we get popcorn, princess?" asked Subaru.

"Soft drinks too. Let's go right now," I said, almost bossily.

Subaru chuckled. "I'll go get my car," said the man.

I was satisfied with the arrangement. I reached for the remote control intending to switch the TV off. Just then another commercial popped out, this time about some crackers. Even so, I recognized my favourite beat, playing itself in the background. I switched off the TV anyways, and hummed the rest of the lyrics as I went for the car.

When I entered the car, Subaru, caught in my upbeat, sang the ending verse to the song, "Can't we be more than just friends?"

"I want to shout 'I like you' out loud," I sung the ending of A Maiden's Mind.

Somehow the verse from Taylor's The Way I Loved You barged into Okino Yoko's tune.

 _And that's the way I loved you._

Well, that part of my life is in past tense, and definitely, that's the way I like it. And that's how Okino Yoko's happy beat won over my past.

* * *

* ** _hashi yasume_** \- There's a special category of side dish called _hashi yasume_ , or "chopstick rest". This is a side dish that contrasts in flavor, texture, temperature and so on to the main side dish. Pickles are the most typical _hashi yasume_. Small side salads are often used as _hashi yasume_ too.

**songs used in this chapter: Taylor Swift - The Way I Loved You & Okino Yoko - A Maiden's Mind (Otome Gokoro)


	12. Chapter 12 : The Colour of Envy

**[Author's Note]**

 **My first time trying out something close to mystery/crime solving. Hope it makes sense.**

 **Also, tomorrow's 2016. Happy New Year!**

* * *

 **Chapter 12 : The Colour of Envy**

It was there again, firmly slung on her right shoulder. The target of my lust and greed. I saw it displayed on a website the day before when I planned for the grocery list with Agasa. The dark emerald coloured hide called out to me but I had to look away for it wasn't right for me to want it. I was filled with a curious greed, wanting to know the type of hide it was cloaked in. The colour was probably artificial but if I don't touch its skin, I don't think this longing will ever go away.

 _I must really be empty to be able to have these thoughts in the midst of a crime._

I sigh, knowing full well that I should give up on my ridiculous want. I decided to focus my attention elsewhere when I caught the self-confident smug of Kudou's face, a sign of a solved mystery.

"So, who's the murderer?" I pried, surprising Kudou with my sudden approach.

Kudou thus with his boyish arrogance pointed out confidently to me that the man who stood leaning against the wall across us was the one who committed the crime.

The man was in his late 20s, dressed in Beika Department Store promoter outfit, looked fidgety since the start of police interrogation. However, he and the victim, his co-worker at the store was on good terms and didn't have any known arguments during their short time being acquainted. Although Inspector Megure did find his nervousness odd, he didn't have motive for murder.

"Why would he murder that victim? He even testified that the victim was a nice person, the one who not only taught him the ropes, but also got him promoted," I said, unable to understand the logic behind the deduction.

I did however, prepared myself for Kudou's explanation, knowing full well that his smug only appears when he got all the pieces of any puzzling mysteries together.

"Cooperate with me and you'll see," bade the Holmes geek.

I never did enjoy playing actress in Kudou's deduction games but I knew I needed something to do else my eyes will find itself on the object of my superfluous pining and my heart will be filled with unreasonable covet. Therefore I agreed. Kudou then whispered my role before he went and positioned himself for his next move.

"Mister," called Kudou to his suspect, "is your girlfriend pretty?"

"Huh?" responded the suspect.

"Earlier you told Detective Takagi that you came to work here because you wanted to earn money to buy your girlfriend gifts, right?" asked Kudou, acting like a genuinely curious child.

"Ah… yes, I did…" replied the suspect.

"Is your girlfriend here? Can I see her?" asked Kudou with faked gleaming eyes.

"Conan, I don't think this is an appropriate time…" said Takagi.

Kudou then signaled for me to act. I sigh, looking at my target who was standing among the crowd, oblivious that a certain short boy have put her on the list of suspect. The woman was young, perhaps slightly older than me. She wore enviable make up, but the sort of pretty that idols wore upon their face. Her accessories were clearly brands that are out of her league, judging from how she stood, and moves. If that Suzuki heiress were to wear such items, it wouldn't be surprising.

" _Wah_ ," I hollered at the lady, "that's a really pretty bracelet."

The lady gasped at my call. My intentional high-pitched admiration distracted the policemen attention from the crime scene. They reflexively turned towards the lady, dismissing the seemingly unimportant detail of her shiny gold bracelet entwined with a thin line of what I suspected to be platinum.

"Miss Mie?" called the suspect's other co-worker, a brown-skinned man, uncertainly.

The co-worker called out the lady confidently, oblivious at her attempt to hide her panic. Her change of expression did not escape both Kudou and I.

" _Wah_ , a pretty sister," exclaimed Kudou excitedly loud.

The suspect turned towards us, looking even more alarmed. The lady looked away but unable to hide her presence from Inspector Megure scrutinizing gaze.

"Takagi, get her details. She may be acquainted with the victim," instructed Inspector Megure.

"Understood," replied the ambitious young detective.

"Hey mister, do you know the pretty sister?" asked Kudou to the suspect.

" _Uh_ … I don't…" came the reply.

"What are you talking about? Miss Mie is your fiancée," said his confused co-worker.

The statement caught Inspector Megure's attention. He focused his gaze between the suspect and his fiancée but after few minutes passed, the focus was lost due to inability to find the relevance to the case apart from the fact that she was the fiancée of the suspect. Detective Takagi then came to him, informing that the lady had no connection to the victim.

"Excuse me lady, where did you buy those jewelries'?" I asked with bore.

"Sister must be really rich!" came Kudou's follow up.

"Just like Sonoko, right?" he continued, looking at me for support.

I nodded, annoyed that I had to play along. I turned to the crowd, searching for the object of my real focus.

 _That emerald hide is now gone…_

"You claimed to be a student. Is your family rich?" asked Detective Takagi, picking up on the hints that Kudou left.

"Yeah.. well, we had our ups and downs.. just average income, I guess…" replied the Miss Mie.

"Hey," called the brown co-worker again.

The direction of the man's attention causes the suspect to further fidget. The co-worker watched the suspect and Miss Mie respectively, then his face grimed, as he was able to solve the puzzle before the police could.

"That bracelet is not on sale until next week," said the co-worker softly, hoping for his friend's sake that his voice goes unheard.

Detective Takagi then exchanged knowing looks with Inspector Megure. After putting the piece together, they managed to corner the suspect for a confession. The victim caught Miss Mie stealing the bracelet on CCTV when he was on duty together with the suspect. The suspect begged the victim not to report it, that he will convince his fiancée to return the item. They were arguing and soon it turned into a fight. A moment of insanity caught the suspect and he killed the victim.

"Now that it's settled, we can proceed with our own shopping," said Kudou much too happy for my mood.

 _If only it was that emerald who was involved…_

"Why are you cross? Because you had to act?" asked Kudou, insincere for a real reply.

I looked at him, wondering why the great deduction of logic cannot figure out the reason a woman would be angry. Then again, I am a believer of logic and even with that, there are some things I felt or wanted that even I cannot explain. I gave Kudou a harrumph and walked away.

We met up with Agasa at the convenience store, where he stood, reading a magazine with leisure, as if no crime had happened in the area.

After some pointless exchange of news, we went for groceries, passing by a designer store, with closed glass door and a hanged label showing 'members only'. Displayed on the panels were the hand-tailored luxury that Agasa's money cannot afford.

"Stop staring at some fancy stupid bag and move faster, will you?" called Kudou impatiently.

I glared at him, hoping he won't ever get to see a football match at peak season for some important other reason like accompanying Mouri girl to the zoo.

 _It was just some case! Why should I be dragged?_

"What is wrong with you?" asked Kudou, annoyed with my cold treatment.

"It could have been snake, or crocodile, or whatever. Now I won't get to know," I said, knowing full well he will not understand.

"Crazy," said Kudou.

 _Not enough to steal._

I smiled at the thought. I wouldn't get to know the texture of the purse, but I was glad that in this current life, stealing is not my option. Although to be fair, I would be able to afford that bag before this drug happened to me. I snickered subconsciously, feeling the green left my system in that instant. I found myself looking at the glass panels around the stores, seeing my kid self grinning.

 _Crazy._

I was a child, and I was determined to corrupt Kudou's day.


	13. Chapter 13 : A Bowl of Kindness

**[Author's Note]**

 **Back when my (younger) sis have not yet gone to college, she used to be my nurse/doctor when I caught a cold. I miss those kind days.**

 **Anyway, enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 13 : A Bowl of Kindness**

People say that if you lie long enough, it will eventually become the truth.

I woke up that morning then immediately asked Agasa to call Kobayashi- _sensei_ , informing of my absence due to fever. Agasa did so without much question. That part of living with Agasa feels very nice to the point that I pity Kudou for having the Mouri girl nag on him for school. Agasa doesn't bother me much about school, he knew I didn't need it and as long as my absence wouldn't be too suspicious, he allowed it. It seems that as Haibara, I get to play truant however I like.

After freshening myself up, I descent into the laboratory, continuing my research on APTX4869. While looking at the computer screen, I noticed the texts were getting blurry. I thought the air conditioning of this place might have been too low, since I started to feel the chills. I therefore attempted to raise the temperature a little.

 _Strange, I didn't mess with the conditioner._

I didn't. It was set at the same temperature as always. Somewhere inside of me seems to hint at what was wrong but I shrugged it off. It was a bad direction of thoughts. Willpower can defeat almost anything. Maybe except bullets. I went back to the computer, planned on continuing my study on the cure but gave up when I can't seem to get my vision back.

Slowly, hoping that nothing is exposed, I packed everything back to their shelves, each document locked in the drawers, and cleaned up the place. I left the room locked.

" _Ah_ , Haibara," called Agasa when he saw me coming from the stairs.

"I have to go out to collect materials from a friend. Would you like to come?" he asked.

I can feel the drops of sweat from the back of my neck, and my dry throat soon to be parched. I shook at his invitation, hoping he wouldn't pry and notice the reason behind my silence. Agasa accepted the refusal and moved towards the coat hanger.

 _Please lock the door._

After putting on his coat, he turned to me with the joy of a kid about to be gifted with a new toy.

"Don't forget to lock the door," he said, thus closing the door behind him and went to receive his toys.

I sigh. Remembering my parched throat, I went to the kitchen for a glass of water. No matter how many glasses I drank, it wasn't enough. After about an hour just sitting on the table trying to drink as much as I can, my throat finally rebelled, feeling the ache at even a gulp.

I gathered my strength, grabbed a bottle and mix honey in the water, hoping it cheats my tongue to accept it down my system. I brought the bottled water with me to my room, and after some barely successful attempt to drink it, I lie on the bed, hearing my own harsh breathing before fatigue took over.

In my dreams, the long haired person snickers. I couldn't remember who it was, but the mock in the figure's voice sounded affectionate. A nostalgic banter I cannot remember.

 _You rarely catch a cold. Is this a cry for attention?_

"It's not," I mumbled.

"You're awake. Good. It's time for lunch anyway," came a familiar voice.

I opened my eyes but my blurry vision wouldn't let me see the person that helped me sit up.

"Who?" I managed in rasped voice, wary of the stranger.

"Don't worry, I called up Agasa about me being here, and considering how high your temperature is, you should just accept this hospitality," replied the voice.

"Subaru. How?" I asked.

"The door was unlocked," he replied.

 _He barged in?_

Subaru then unfolded a serving tray on my lap, and placed a bowl of porridge on it. I stared at the meal, feeling the hunger in my stomach. I didn't have the energy to lift my hands up, but I wasn't going to say it.

"Medicine?" I asked.

"Not on an empty stomach," replied Subaru.

"You. Out," I managed with as much intensity as I could.

The man didn't move. Instead, he sat there beside the bed, studying my features, as if it could help him evaluate my condition. His grim face made it seem like I was a prey instead of a patient. The next thing he did was even more puzzling. Subaru laughed.

"Should I be your knight now?" he asked, then continuing, "I'm not very good at this role."

He took the spoon from the bowl, scooped the porridge and with a sly look on his face, he attempted to feed me.

"No," I said.

"You can't lift your arms, can you?" asked the man, unfazed.

Just then, the Detective Boys, just as uncivilized as the adult neighbour, barged inside, not bothering to knock. While Kudou just stared at the view of Subaru trying to feed the food to my mouth, the others voiced their better concerns.

"Oi Haibara, we heard you got sick," said Genta.

" _Ehh_..! Mister Subaru's feeding you?" asked Mitsuhiko, bothered by his own imagination.

"Is there anything we could do?" asked Ayumi.

"Yoshida can help," I said.

Subaru smiled, knowing what I meant thus called Ayumi to replace him, giving the lie of Ayumi saving him from the trouble since he had assignments to work on back in his house. Ayumi gladly took over the motherly role, making the adult compelled to leave the room full of children.

When I saw that Kudou and Subaru both at the door, going to leave the room, I was forced to remind myself that they were on my side. Or I was on their side. I hastily whispered something to Ayumi, since my voice can hardly be raised.

"Mister Subaru," called Ayumi just as the Subaru was about to close the door.

"Haibara said thank you," she continued.

"You're welcome, princess," said the man.

I couldn't be certain what look was on his face as he said that, thank to my vision, but I somehow had the feel that it was a kind one. The sort of kind that Akemi used to have.


	14. Chapter 14 : Early Bird Catches Worm

**[Author's Note]**

 **I had so much fun writing this chapter. It's a bit longer than my usual length, but I hope everyone will still find it enjoyable. I was playing with quotes while I was thinking of the title. Do you think you can connect it to the story? Hehe**

 **Also, I was determined to use only English but while I can substitute the suffix _-san_ with Mister, Mr, Miss or Mrs, it's hard to substitute _-neechan_ , _-sensei_ and the like. In Asia, it's normal to address your teacher by calling him "Teacher" and older sibling with their right honorifics. I don't see that in western language. Afterall, if I write (for example) Sister Mary, then it becomes the nun Mary, right? So I've decided to use the Japanese suffixes where English substitution seems impossible.**

 **Other than that, enjoy the story.**

* * *

 **Chapter 14: Early Bird Catches Worm**

It was queer feeling that I have not felt for a long time. My body reacted by lazing itself in the bed, refused to acknowledge the ringing alarm. I settled under the comfort of my blanket, hopeful that when noon comes, my absence has been covered up by Agasa. The second sleep was a peaceful one. I fell deep into it for what I thought was a long time but soon after, I woke up energized. I was convinced that it was noon already but the clock shows that only minutes passed after the first alarm. I thus, surrendered myself to the demanding day activity.

To my surprise, Subaru came by with his homemade pancakes for breakfast. Him and Agasa were enjoying their breakfast when I came to the dining room, talking about going somewhere together for some sort of deal.

"Playing hooky?" asked Subaru.

 _Why ask when your Holmes brain can figure it out?_

"She hasn't recover last night, so I let her sleep in today too," said Agasa, trying to cover for me.

"I'm well now," I declared, "I'll go to school after this."

"Are you sure? It's fine if you stay in today. Shi- Conan said your fever was really high yesterday. Plus, it's late," said Agasa.

"I'll missed homeroom or the first class. So I overslept. Like every other kid," I responded, nonchalantly taking a piece of the pretty pancake onto my plate.

Agasa pouted at my lack of concern but his mood was restored when he resumed his breakfast. Subaru added nothing except polite table conversation. Afterwards, Agasa drove me to school humming the 60s records in the car happily to himself.

It was already the second period when I arrived. Agasa apologized profusely to the teacher, pretending to be disappointed that I overslept on a school day. While Mitsuhiko and Ayumi donned the mix expression of puzzled and relief, Genta burst out the "you're late" aloud, making me the center of attention for about 10 minutes. Since I arrived in the middle of class, I wasn't stormed with questions immediately. Being a student in elementary Japan gave me a lot of break and ease from worrying about unwanted attention. They'd always prioritize formal learning, even if it was for show.

"Overslept?" asked Kudou in his conceited smug.

"Nope. I ate pancakes," I replied, trying to dismiss him by immediately focusing my attention to the lesson.

" _Ah_ , you overslept, but came to school because Subaru came over Professor's house," deduced Kudou.

I studied his bored expression that was ridiculing the 1st grade mathematics lesson from the teacher. Was I a toy to ease his kiddie boredom? I turned left, facing the windows, to rid myself of the annoyance but instead my eyes found Mitsuhiko, earnestly jotting down notes. I smiled at the little genius. It felt refreshing to see a child filled with the will to chase after dreams. I was studious back in that age, and studying was a bliss. Although sadly, my hopeful chase dimmed by the time I was nearing pre-teen.

"Hey, it's a crime to be interested in a child," said Kudou in his irksome nonchalant manner.

"I am admiring earnest traits in children, something you have clearly lost," I replied.

" _Ah_ , sure is. He'd make a fine accountant one day. Pretty good with numbers," he said.

"No. He's curious. He'll make an excellent researcher," I said with pride, as it boosted my own ego for a bit.

" _Bah_!" interjects Kudou but his voice caught the teacher's attention so he had to pretend to be coughing instead.

Just as I thought the conversation had ended, Kudou continued, "you mean make stupid inventions like Professor or become a mad scientist like you? No, the kid's too pure for that."

"Life is one big transition," I quoted.

" _Oi oi_ , are you expecting _that_ Mitsuhiko to be mad?" he asked.

The snicker he unintentionally let out was a sign for a ready. He wanted this argument. He was bored at the lack of challenge a first grade classroom education provided. I stared at him for a while, thinking whether I should indulge him or otherwise. The smug on his face at my delayed response must be his off remark deduction of how I couldn't find words to win him.

 _I'm the genius, you arrogant freak._

So I indulged him on the ridiculous debate. It went on from probable career to weird ones like ballerinas and actors. We kept our argument as silent as possible, pausing only when the teacher found her eyes on the suspiciously inattentive kids.

"Like I said, Tsuburaya will be an excellent adult, and when that happens, you'll be sorry you live in a small apartment with inconsistent detective salary, drinking beers to wash off the image of multiple homicides," I said with finality.

"Wait a second, I'm not like that geezer -" responded Kudou but before he could finish his sentence, Ayumi interrupted.

"Conan will be a fine adult. He's going to solve all the crimes in the world," defended Ayumi.

"Ayumi…" called out Kudou softly, touched that the girl think so highly of him.

"And then the Detective Boys will take on the world. We'll beat everyone and become famous!" added Ayumi.

"Find a purpose to serve, not a lifestyle to live," I quoted, snickering to myself.

I was enjoying the fact that Kudou short lived fantasy of being the best in Ayumi's eyes was diminished by her next sentence.

 _That'd put him back to the ground._

Somehow, with the other three in the picture, the conversation changes topic almost instantly. Even so, the base of it, arguing, have not change. We bickered topics after topics, stopping during class – although Kudou and I continued anyway – and eventually when the last bell rang, the whole argument becomes about the effectiveness of tarot cards.

By the time we reached Agasa's house, our attention turned towards a big showy cake on the coffee table in the living room. Genta's stomach immediately sounded, inviting teases from us. Agasa then appeared from the kitchen, with plates, forks, and the ever nosy neighbour.

"What's the occasion?" I asked.

"My new invention, the folding machine, was sold today," exclaimed the overjoyed professor.

"I made cake to celebrate with everyone," added Subaru.

The moment he said it, I can feel the impatience exuded by my current peers. We have all tasted Subaru's cooking. We knew he makes no fluke in all his exceptional dishes. As much as the cake was a celebratory meal for Agasa's success, I was sure the old professor's achievement have been overshadowed and forgotten.

"So can we eat now?" asked Genta.

"No, I invited Ran and her friends over," replied Agasa, still wrapped in his own joyful success.

" _Eh_ , why?" asked Kudou.

"I made too much, so it seems," replied Subaru, showing a tray of fried chicken that he was holding unnoticed.

"I get to see Ran- _neechan_!" said Ayumi happily.

"When you say her friends…" muttered Kudou.

" _Ah_ , Sonoko will be bringing drinks, and the other girl said she'll bring snacks," said Agasa.

Kudou glanced at me uncertainly. I mused the idea of Kudou cautiousness at my future meeting with his Mouri girl certain friend. I didn't particularly liked the idea of meeting a potential threat, but his obvious wariness to the yet to happen encounter entertained me for a while. When I looked up however, my musing dropped. Subaru was observing Kudou's reaction silently. Those two allied themselves but even then, they hold their cards from each other. I sat on the couch, stealing a quick glance at Kudou, then braced myself for what was coming.

Mouri Ran entered the room not to long later. With her was her Suzuki heiress friend, Sonoko. The two chatted with Agasa and Subaru before joining us children around the table. Kudou, upon their arrival, quickly stationed himself near me, with his futile attempt, tried to block me from others' view.

"Let's start," said Subaru.

"The other sister's not coming?" asked Ayumi.

"Sorry, she had sudden business to attend to," said Mouri-girl apologetically.

After that, it was an enjoyable party indeed. After some hurried congratulatory words for Agasa, we dived into the meal, satisfying our belly with Subaru's gourmand dishes.

"Mr Subaru, you should definitely work in my house. We pay our cook really well," said Suzuki-girl at some point during the meal.

Before Subaru could reply to her, Genta and I immediately stood between the two, glaring at the heiress.

"Don't try to coax our Subaru to your den," I said.

"Yeah, witch. Hire someone else. Mister Subaru is the Detective Boys official cook," added Genta.

Although his comment was unnecessary, I was pleased that Genta added that childishness to the statement. I wouldn't like it if that nosy man uses my words as some amusement on other days.

"Idiot, Subaru is not yours," said Kudou.

"But, Mister Subaru is the Detective Boys ally," emphasized Mitsuhiko.

 _Heh. Cooking skills is all it takes to get votes._

"An adult with deduction skills is someone us Detective Boys should look up to," I said, adding fire to the fuel.

"We solved tons of cases without Subaru!" argued Kudou, unable to back out once his pride is on the line.

"Sure, argue about the time before he appeared," I commented.

"Subaru saves us a few times, and he takes us seriously," presented Mitsuhiko.

"He makes great food," added Genta.

"That's good adult. Nothing to do with deduction," responded Kudou.

"He teaches the kids how to be good detectives," I said, then hurriedly added, "us kids."

"I've been doing that as well," argued Kudou.

"And he can actually chaperone us," I continued.

"That can't be helped! I don't have a car!" said Kudou, getting even more irritated.

I stopped there, feeling myself winning the argument. Despite the object of the pettiness was that nosy neighbour, it still felt good to win.

"Yeah! And when Professor's busy and Haibara is sick, Subaru will take care of her," added Mitsuhiko unnecessarily.

"Conan, I'm siding with Haibara as well. Subaru is like a caring angel to the Detective Boys," said Ayumi.

I saw the fumes in Kudou rising as his dependability was questioned. I had a feeling that the next thing he'd say would be bad but I knew he'd say it anyway. He wasn't cautious enough in this peaceful crowd and he wasn't going to realize the suspicion his words would held until it is out of his mouth. I tried to cover his mouth but his frustration made him determined to say his words out loud.

"I took care of Haibara more than Subaru ever did," he said,"and she depends on me more than anyone."

I did expect it to be disastrous but I didn't expect the words would be this sort of disaster.

"Oh my, Conan. You two bicker like couples," joked the Mouri-girl.

"No- no way! That's not it. I mean, they all do. Depend on me. We were talking about cases and detectives!" said Kudou, realizing his mistake.

"They say romance between friends is hard to see because you would convince yourself that it's friendship," remarked Suzuki-heiress, grinning at her best friend to convey her private joke.

" _Ahaha_ , that's not possible though," said Agasa, trying to save us from the situation.

"Well professor, I'm sure you can trust the princess to Conan, right?" teased Subaru, chuckling to himself.

"Is it true?" asked Mitsuhiko.

"Ridiculous," I said, determined to end the joke.

"Friendship between two opposing gender is often misinterpreted into romance because people confused mutual respect and equal dependency into love," I stated.

"That's true too," said Subaru snickering at my fast save.

"There she goes sprouting mature words again…" mumbled the heiress.

I thought the joke died down then because everyone started to pick up their forks and eat again but then all of the sudden, Ayumi let out the "I solved the puzzle" sort of cry. Immediately, everyone's attention turned towards the girl.

"I got it! Haibara can't possibly be with Conan because she thinks he's not going to be successful in life!" said Ayumi.

"Yoshida? What -?" I managed, still confused with the suddenness.

"I mean, earlier in class you argued with Conan about that, right? You said Mitsuhiko is definitely going to be a better adult," she said innocently.

 _My bad luck._

That moment, two wicked grin formed on the faces of two Holmes geek. While others decided to ignore the whole joke and enjoy the party, a young bright boy becomes nervous with shyness every time his eyes met mine.

 _Haaah... I'll deal with it another day._

* * *

 **Firstly, I don't ship anyone. And since I'm trying my best to stick with the original plot, I'm sorry I cannot add Sera just yet. Oh, but I do enjoy all the things shippers posted, especially Conan and Ai. Well, that's because I'm a fan of Haibara so anything about her is gem to me.**

 **Next, credits to quotes used:**

"Life is one big transition." - Wille Stargell

"Find a purpose to serve, not a lifestyle to live." - Criss Jami, Venus in Arms


End file.
